Hang on, back up. Before you and Ms. Arie start singing a duet, let me talk to you for a second…

Are you truly ready?

I get it, you want something new and exciting in your life and a new relationship sounds like just the thing. But if you go stumbling into something before you are truly ready for it, you’re going to waste your time, your partner’s time, and someone will most likely end up getting hurt.

Are you over your Ex?

Don’t just say yes right away. I’m pretty sure that most people who say they are, aren’t.

Can you and that person have a civil conversation that involves honest smiles and kind words? Have you tried? Is your answer a no, because you would do your best to stab them in the neck with a fork if you saw them again?

You’re not over it.

Can you honestly wish them well, feel sympathy when they’re unhappy, and smile when something works out for them?

They’re getting married and it’s not to you. Would you be you happy for them?

If you’re shaking your head no… you’re not over it.

Walking into a new relationship when a part of you still lives in a past connection isn’t fair to you or the person you start dating. Worse, making them pay for your ex’s mistakes will kill any hope of your relationship lasting.

Do you really want someone in your personal space?

I’m going to be honest with you. This point right here, is where I am in my life.

My home is peaceful. Everything is where I want it to be, and unless my daughters or I move it, it’s not going anywhere. I don’t have company when I don’t want it, leave my things out on the bathroom counter, and don’t have to worry about someone leaving the toilet seat up.

Don’t move my things. No we can’t watch the Cowboys game, I am a Raven’s fan.

No you can’t play my GTA, you might mess up my game. Your save is at your house? Oh okay, let me hold the door for you. Get out.

I am not bitter or angry, I am real with myself. You need to decide whether or not you are ready for someone to be in your space on a regular basis.

Are you secure in yourself?

I’m going to let you in on a secret that’s not really a secret: Confidence is attractive. You think you look fantastic in that outfit, everyone else will too. By the same token, if you think you aren’t worth the time and effort needed to be courted, neither will anyone else.

You need to be able to say, “I want these 10 things in a mate. You only have 6 of them, I’m sorry, you don’t pass.” Why? Because I am worth someone who has all 10.

You shouldn’t walk into love before you’re ready. Whether the reason you aren’t is a lack of healing, or simply confusion about what you really want, you deserve the time to understand what will make you happy.

And if you meet someone who can’t seem to understand that concept, give them a fantastic view of you leaving.
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