Phase 1:

He tells you he loves you with warning signs on his lips,
but you kiss them anyway.
With love and with passion.
He gives you his heart, wrapped in bright yellow caution tape.
When you lay on his chest his heartbeat sounds like distant footsteps.
Beats with words of longing you quickly memorize.

Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go.

He is your broken boy, shattered like glass
and you are an eager artist feening to create.
You will try to make a mosaic out of his jagged pieces.
Try to conceal his wounds, using your lips as a remedy for his scars.

He promises you a love that you never imagined, love that you didn’t believe existed.
He says he doesn’t deserve you.
Says that eventually you will see that he’s not the guy you need him to be.

They say love is blind, but you love him with your eyes opened wide.
You see his past as something he can overcome.
You see his mistakes as something he has learned from.
You see his scars of proof of his resilience.
You love him despite his warning signs and battle wounds
because he is the first boy who ever made you feel noticed.
The first boy who ever made you feel special.
Who told you he loved you and you could hear the words fall from his mouth into your heart.

You could see in his muddy brown eyes that he meant it.

Phase 2:

Until this point you believed you were a force to be reckoned with.
Believed you were incapable of being consumed, swallowed whole by a man
because you are the ocean; nothing is great enough to consume you
and you only answer to the call of the moon.

You are rushing waters. You are waves crashing into sandy shores. You are tsunamis.
You are so vast and deep that nobody can full explore you, but you peak everyone’s curiosity.
You are chaotic, but beautiful all at once.
Always the swallower, never the swallowed.

That was before you got lost in him.

He became the ocean and you became a quiet stream.
You tamed yourself for him.
Chained yourself to him.

You became small so he could have all the shine.
You moved mountains for him, wore yourself thin for him.
Spilled out all that you had to give for him
and it was all worth it, you felt like you had a purpose.
You were his world, the balance he needed in his life.
You were the one who he would eventually make his wife.

His lips labeled in warning signs made you promises of forever
and you believed them.

Phase 3:

And just like that everything changed.
Those kisses you once craved didn’t have the same taste anymore.

He used to kiss you with forever, but these tasted like maybes.
And left an after taste of almost lingering on your taste buds.

He didn’t look at you the same anymore, didn’t love you the same anymore.
All of a sudden you were in love with a stranger.
Even though you started out loving him with your eyes wide opened time had blinded you to all his warning
signs.

Now you saw him through rose covered glasses because he promised from the start to never break your heart.
You kept kissing lips laced with lies and staring into deceiving eyes
and you loved with a passion that could have burned you alive.

Phase 4:

You thought you could tame him.
Change him.
Save him.
Give him the love he never felt from his mother.
You never knew he wasn’t yours for keeping.
Had no clue he was still searching for a place to stay when you were away.

You thought you’d learned your lesson not to make homes out of human bodies,
but you made a home out of him.
You thought you were home to him.
And though he slowly began to leave more often
you believed in your heart that he was yours
as much as you were his.
Because he promised you a life together.
You even daydreamed about having his kids, before him they weren’t in your vision.
He made you believe in the kind of love that only happened in movies.

Love that can heal people. Change people.
But he is a broken boy
with yellow caution tape wrapped around his heart.
A heart beat that sounds like him closing doors as he leaves you.
A heart that beats with two words that are now your mantra.

Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go.

He never wanted you to leave him, he wanted to keep you in his oceans.
Drown you in the tsunamis he created.
But you can’t help but notice how he’s drifting away
and there’s nothing you can do to make him stay.

Phase 5:

She is going to take him away.

She is going to cut her hands on his sharp edges trying to finish the mosaic that is now stained with your
blood.
And you’re left with scars from all the work you did.

Left with the burning sting of being the one left behind.
The memories of your love affair leaves you in despair
and even after what he put you through you miss him.
After all, you tamed yourself for him.
Made yourself small for him.

You were the ocean until you got lost in him,
until you ensconced yourself in him.

You wonder why you weren’t enough for him.
Why you couldn’t pour enough love into him to quench his thirst and longing.
Why he had to go drinking from other springs.
Kept yourself up for nights on end wondering what you could have done to make him stay.

Why didn’t he choose you?
You can never come up with an answer that eases you.

Phase 6:

Finally it comes to you.
You were too big for him, too real for him.
Too much for him to consume.

You are the ocean and he is broken glass.

Your love was never meant to last
because even though you made yourself small for him,
became a quiet stream for him,
let him have all the shine.
Eventually you would have grown tired of being small.

You would have turned back into the ocean you once were
and your salty waters and rushing waves would have eroded the broken glass into grains of sand.

They say love is blind, but you love him with your eyes opened wide.

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