It isn’t easy looking in the mirror and staring at the mess your life has become.
The revelation of my truth is: I needed help and if I didn’t get it, I was on the road to a nervous breakdown.
Something was missing in my life. My soul dying slowly, tears flowing down my face without permission every day. Depression was winning and I was losing, and the internal pain was affecting my life.
My home was a mess, clutter everywhere, and I looked awful. In the mirror, I screamed, “Enough is enough.”
It was time to take care of the most valuable person in the room. Tamyara.
My first act of bravery was walking into Lakeshore Behavioral Health, asking to speak to a counselor.
Years before I started counseling, the stigma of someone knowing I was mentally unhealthy was my barrier. Living in denial, pretending I was Super Woman who could handle it all when it was falling apart right in front of my face.
I put my head in the sand because it was easier for me to avoid my problems.
On this particular Monday when Fall had just begun, the leaves were falling and I could not stop crying for twenty-four hours. I walked into the clinic, signed my name, and said the words I feared, “I need help.”
My first day in the chair, sitting across from a professional, became the pivotal moment in reinventing myself and the importance of taking care of my mental health.
I released my grief, my sadness, and past wounds that ate at me. I carried a ton of emotional baggage, and needed to lay my burdens down in the therapist’s office.
I was existing in misery versus living in joy. Depression has a way of letting you see the worst in everything.
Going to therapy each week has become my personal time to vent, to be heard, understood, and not judged. I don’t mope or stay in dark rooms any longer. Life has taught me an extraordinary lesson about loving myself.
When you love yourself you fix what ails you, especially your mental health. Depression isn’t uncommon but is least likely to be taken care of. It is the one sickness that is ignored and pushed in the “to do later” pile.
I also manage my depression through medication and writing away my sadness. Exercise has been another form of therapy and stress relief. I listen to music and take a walks.
I choose to laugh, love, and am thankful for each day I am awake. I can see the purpose of being alive and using my writing to help other women in the same position.
My advice: Take care of yourself because you are the most valuable person in your life.
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