If this month has you feeling down and you are contemplating calling back that guy with the bad tooth just so you can have a date for Valentine’s Day or Friday night – hold your horses.

Don’t allow a feeling of loneliness to push you into a moment of desperation.

While everyone wants to be loved, there is something about these Hallmark holidays and the month of February that intensifies the need for love to the ninth power.

It’s quite natural to want to be in a loving relationship when you see others around you dating, getting engaged or at least basking in the morning-after glow.

Lonely nights turn into long days of searching for someone to love, with a flashlight in the daytime.

Whether you are looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now, pay attention to the following indicators when determining whether they are worthy of your love.

Fat Kid Loves Cake

You want to be with someone who lights up when you come in the room and is excited to be in your presence.  Think of how you feel when your favorite dish is placed in front of you; now imagine that look on your face.

That’s what you should expect.

Mind Blowing Decisions

Have you heard the quote that “indecision is a decision”? If they are on the fence about how they feel about you, and wishy-washy with their feelings, sometimes hot, maybe cold, or often lukewarm, they might not be the one.


Are you giving more than you are getting from your potential suitor? Make sure you are treating them based off of reality and not what you fantasize or hope the relationship to be. What this means is: you have to treat them accordingly, allow them to show you how they feel about you and then match their behavior.

Don’t be so quick to give full-time benefits if he is only seeking to fill the spot of part-time lover.

Multiple Choice

Don’t allow yourself to be someone’s just in case.  A just in case is a stand-in, stand-by, option 2 or Plan-B. Be with someone who only wants to be with you.

If they are rotating you with their other available options, remove yourself from the rotation and help make their decision easier.  You deserve to be someone’s only choice.


It doesn’t take long for someone to know how they feel about you.  Do they still have doubts about you, or are you confused about where you stand with them?

When people are passionate about things that they love, they should be clear and communicate those feelings.  If you always have to ask about your relationship status and they fall into a comatose state when you question them, walk away.

Unrealistic Expectations

Do they use the ‘if-then’ statement when it comes to determining if you are someone they want to love. If you lose weight, they will go out with you. If you make a certain amount of money, they will consider dating you.

Don’t allow someone to put conditions on you. You are deserving of love and should be loved for who you are and where you are right now, in the present.

One is a lonely number

If they make you feel alone even when you are with them, you are better off without them.  There is nothing worse than being invited into someone’s life or space just to be ignored.

Don’t Call Me, I’ll Call You

If the communication is only one-sided and you are the only one putting in effort to learn more about them, this might not be the person for you.  If they are interested in you, they will want to talk to you.

Also, be leary if they can only communicate at specific hours or never answer the phone when you call. There might be something fishy going on.

A Second Job

If the relationship seems more like work than fun, this might not be the relationship for you.  Do you feel like a dentist because you are constantly pulling teeth to get reciprocity or feedback from the person you care about?

While all relationships experience bumps in the road, the entire relationship should not be turbulent.

Stranger Danger

If a significant amount of time has passed and you still don’t feel that you know them and they don’t appear to have any interest in who you really are, perhaps this is not someone you want to be with.

House Arrest

If they never want to take you out in public and you only go on ‘dates’ at each other’s homes, perhaps this is someone you don’t need to be with.

Look for someone who would love to show you off.  Remember you are just as beautiful in the light as you are in the dark.

The bottom line is this: while it might be difficult to find someone to love, it shouldn’t be hard to love thyself.

Love yourself enough to not just let any ol’ thing have the opportunity to love you back.

Besides, your love is too powerful to settle.  Just Saying!

RELATED ARTICLE: His Thoughts: Choose Her Every Day (or Leave Her)

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