Make Believe
by: Nina Nicole

Such a nasty wound, infected with reality
Right now, unhealed.
If ever.
My mind betrays the order of the divine
Disorderly may seem the conductor of my soul. Me.
In these moments I offer no glory no honor. Forgive me
Sitting in silence, Unconvincing is this feigned security
Tolerance of this truth
My flesh longs for flesh
The inevitable never
But never again no more in route to reach forever
Until never again
Never to see never again. Again
Inside this space of life it will never be alright
Make believe. Until.
A different unfamiliar, forced familiarity
I succumb to this new life. This unteachable existence
Rage, screams, howls, sobs, cramps, knots, the migraines.
All held captive by a short, weak leash.
I fight submission to useless tears.
Exhaustion, no rest
Leaking heart, a profusion of blood. No bandage. I have not.
Forgive me this selfish grief Oh Lord
Forgive me for I do believe.
Forgive me these moments amidst death
Her victory
When I am consumed with defeat.
I miss my Mama.
Now I digress. This reality resumes. Until Eden
I Believe

Copyright © Nina Nicole. Published with permission.

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