There is a quote that reads: “To have a true enemy, choose a friend”.
If you don’t believe it, take a look at your social media accounts and you will find remnants of what used to be the tightest of friendships… ones that now exist as empty friendship circles.
It seems that when some women feud, it’s only a matter of time before they put each other on social media blast. Hurt feelings, miscommunication, and plenty of he-said-she said leads one friend to log on and air the dirty laundry of a woman she once confided in.
It makes you wonder.
Why would true friends take their disagreements to social media anyway?
Sometimes people forget to use common sense when dealing with conflict. Just as it takes two to tango, one can’t duel alone. Here’s what to do if you find yourself being pulled into this situation:
She who angers you, controls you.
Just because she has taken to social media to put you on blast, doesn’t mean you have to retaliate. Besides, it looks pathetic when she is having a one-sided argument. Eventually, her 100 followers will lose interest because you never showed any.
If she tries to pull you into an argument, hit ‘block’.
Curiosity Killed The Cat
Don’t log on to see what rumors and gossip your former friend is spreading. Put social media into perspective. If you are busy living life and focused on what really matters, you aren’t concerned about gaining likes or chasing lies.
Take The High Road
This road is less traveled and doesn’t have much traffic. Instead of retaliating, take pride in knowing that you choose not to expose her secrets. Your former friend is fully aware that you can throw gasoline on the fire, but allow her to burn that bridge.
But what happens when you do decide to respond? The reality is: sometimes we just can’t help it.
If you must, be mindful that you can’t air someone else’s dirty laundry without clipping your own unmentionables to the clothesline.
You may be privy to her dirt, but she knows about yours as well. But if you determine that the friendship is definitely over and you don’t care who knows, prepare for the following backlash:
Before you prep your texting trigger fingers, decide whether this is truly how you want this to end. Can this friendship be salvaged or did she cross the line of no return? Real friends should never harm their friends: physically, emotionally, financially or publicly.
You Need Me
There is a possibility that you will have to cross that burned bridge, and walk on eggshells and broken glass one day, because you need something from your former friend. Keep in mind, “I will never be your friend again”; “You’re dead to me” and “On my momma…” are cant-take-back statements.
Make sure you don’t ever plan to circle back in her direction if you throw out these verbal daggers.
Do The Math
Do you remember July 4th weekend at 2am after the fifth round of margaritas, when girl talk turned serious and there was mention of one-night stands, threesomes, and legs divided?
Before coming down with a sudden case of amnesia, recall what you may have said or done in the past, and who has the pictures to prove it.
No matter how upset you are, exposing your friend violates the Girl-Code and the cardinal rule: Everything that happens in Vegas, the Bahamas, the Dominican Republic, Jamaica, the 50 contiguous states and anywhere Southwest flies…stays there.
Don’t throw stones when your former friend is known to launch bricks. If you hit below the belt, don’t be surprised if she goes into her bag and pulls out that ‘thing’ that has kept you in therapy for all of your adult life.
If you are fortunate enough to be chosen as a friend, consider it an honor and privilege.
No matter how you look at it, women need other women to relate, confide in, be vulnerable with, learn from and evolve into the person they were meant to be.
Honoring your friendships requires you to protect your friends and their secrets. Social media is not for feuding or handling your friendship issues. It is a public forum that does not offer protection to relationships you once valued and held as sacred.
The bottom line is this: leave the arguments off of social media.
After all, a true friend to the end, is one who can be a friend – even in the end. Just Saying…
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