By now we all probably realize that relationships are not the endless romance and wonderment that Disney so inaccurately painted for us in our youth.
That doesn’t mean you can’t create a satisfying (and real) love story of your own, but first it has to last!
Let’s take a look at 6 things you need to stop doing right now if you want your relationship to last.
1. Stop Being Unrealistic.
No matter how strong the connection or how powerful the attraction, some days you just might not be feeling your partner and that’s okay. Every day can’t be sunshine and gumdrops.
Instead of calling it quits because “you must not be right for each other”, revisit the things that made you fall in love in the first place.
Relationships take hard work and deliberate action. Acknowledging this from the beginning will make it a lot easier when you hit those inevitable rough patches.
2. Stop Comparing.
In the age of social media it can be hard not to compare your life to others’. All you have to do is log on to your favorite site and suddenly you (seemingly) have a front row seat to their lives. But as the old saying goes: everything that glitters isn’t gold.
What looks like the Obamas on the computer screen, could actually be more like Ike and Tina in real life. Even if people really are as happy as they seem (good for them), your focus should be on your relationship.
Never lose sight of what’s important; building your own happiness with the person you love.
3. Stop Spilling the Beans.
I used to get upset when I would call my mom to talk badly about my husband and she’d instantly shut it down.
I didn’t understand it then, but I do now.
Dishing the dirty details of your latest fight is never a good idea. All relationships have problems, and unless you are faced with a life altering decision (i.e. divorce), it really isn’t anyone else’s business. Before you know it, you and your partner will be on good terms again and you’ll be confused about why your best homegirl’s face is screwed up.
Remember, you love your partner. Your family and friends are under no such obligation.
Don’t create more stress in your relationship by dragging people into situations that were never meant for them to be privy to in the first place.
4. Stop Acting Single.
I get it. We all want to be desired, and it feels good to know that you’ve still “got it going on” to the opposite sex. But be warned, do not play into the foolishness! Even a little friendly flirting can prove to be detrimental to a relationship and break trust.
Having the momentary attention of some “non-factor” is never worth jeopardizing what you are building with the person you love.
5. Stop Pretending That You Don’t Care.
It’s nice to be independent, and no one’s presence should make or break you, but please stop pretending that you don’t care. Nothing kills a relationship faster than indifference. Presumably, you are with your partner because there is something about them that resonates with you. You care for them and want to grow with them.
The whole “I can have another you in a minute” motto is disrespectful and speaks more to your maturity than your ability to be on your own.
No one wants to feel dispensable, and a nonchalant attitude may make your partner unwilling to put the necessary work into the relationship.
Let your partner know that they are wanted and that you’re willing to weather the storms together. If you like who you’re with, act like it. Plain and simple.
6. Stop Putting Yourself Down.
There are very few things less attractive than a person with low self-esteem. So what if you don’t have the highest paying job, the fanciest home, or the best body? Your partner identified something special in you that they wanted to align themselves with.
We all have moments of self-doubt, but when you constantly put yourself down you are essentially telling your partner that they’ve made a poor choice in choosing to be with you.
Stop harping on what’s wrong and focus on the many things that are right!
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