Every day, I come home and ask the kids, “Did you check the mail?”
Most of the time, the mail is full of bills that I have a hard time paying, notices for opportunities to pay off credit cards that I have defaulted on, or a bunch of sales circulars reminding me that I need to go to the market and not keep eating out.
Today as I thumbed through the mail, I came across a notice, and when I opened it I was informed that I have a wage garnishment from an old apartment that I broke the lease on.
My heart sank.
As a single mother of 3 with one child taking college courses, I am barely making it. I had no clue how I was going to be able to pay my bills before receiving this letter and it’s going to be nearly impossible once they start taking up to 30% of my wages each pay day to pay off this debt.
But then a calm came over me and I knew who had just taken control.
I was reminded that this needed to happen for me to move forward financially, emotionally, and professionally. I have been carrying the weight of all of my past bad decisions and it has been debilitating.
God gave me a gift.
Despite all of the crazy decisions I have made, I have always been a great businesswoman. He gifted me with the ability to turn my passion for make-up into a fledging business that has the potential to take me to the next level…but I have to take care of all of these loose financial strings and let go of my reliance on my current full time job.
He knew that the only way that I was going to be able to do it was by force.
In this moment, He is forcing me to be faithful, and for the first time in my life I have decided to truly take my hands off the wheel and let Him drive.
So, instead of crying, shutting myself in my room, or completely losing my mind, I picked up my phone and began to calmly confirm appointments for the remainder of the weekend. I began to take inventory of the number of clients I have scheduled, and jumped on the computer to continue creating my new marketing materials.
I began to smile to myself because God is so great that He had been preparing me for this season of sowing.
I had started saving more of my business finances for what I thought was a way to challenge myself to make wise financial decisions. God is so amazing!
I wanted to push myself and my business to the next level for about a year, but hesitated because I didn’t want to give up my “stable” paycheck nor did I know how I was going to be able to pay off this particular debt.
God made my paycheck unstable and figured out how I was going to pay it off!
Now I have no choice but to nurture, hustle for, pray over, be faithful, and rely on the gift HE gave me to be able to provide for my family. I am so grateful to Him for his unwavering belief in me…even when I don’t believe in myself.
Despite the fact we are going to have a hard go at it and I am going to have to continue working my regular job, I am so excited about the next phase in my life.
I am looking forward to finally believing in my gift enough to give it everything I have and I am so honored that God chose me to for this task.